in family

So I guess that you and I are both back to the old scheme of attacking each other here. I’ll paraphrase Winston Churchill here: ”…we shall fight on blogs, instant messages, in emails, in text messages and on the forums.”

Boo yeah, Mariah.

So. Your family, their (fucking) house and their outlook toward us all. I think they hate me. I don’t care enough to find out. They treat you with extreme disrespect by ignoring you and belittling you. They treat wee Caira in ways that upset me too. They take away all her toys and side with Rebecca whenever she throws a fit. Hey, I share your outrage, save for this difference: I want to do something about it. I want to move us all a thousand miles away from your family, to a place where they cannot take away Caira’s toys, put you down or come around to out house while we’re at work and dump their stuff in our garage. As I learned firsthand, people get very sick of hearing someone bitch about a situation while they adamantly refusing to change that situation. I’ve been offered more than one out from our marriage and more than one couch to sleep on, but I turned it all down. Why, I don’t know. I honestly don’t, Mariah. I’ve been pretty fucking miserable here, but I pushed away every hand that reached out to help me. Slowly, oh so slowly, I learned to just shut up about you and us until I’m willing to leave.

You’re doing the same. You bitch, you whine, you cry and you beat your breast while lamenting your woes. And then I suggest how we might get out of this house: By both of us going back to work or going into a business, trying to save money and then moving the fuck out of here you scream at me and insist we can’t do it. We’re too poor or your dad is too sick. I’ve never tried to suggest that we just stuff our clothes into a suitcase and run like thieves in the night; I understand that this will take months. I want us to all leave here…

…and you don’t trust me because I tried to leave. I tried to leave because I fucking hate this house. It is catch 22: You won’t move out of here until I become happy here, heh.

Put up or shut up.

March 20

in me

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